I decided to give myself a good talking to.
I realise, to those who don't know me, that I must be coming across as some kind of whining, aging, abstemious goody-two-shoes.
Well, believe me, nothing could be further from the truth.
You see, this is my second stab at a University education.
Because the first time round I blew it.
I did exactly the things I imagine 'Wing Man' and 'Lady Marmalade' are getting up to now.
Well, maybe not exactly.
'Wing Man' is one of those rough inner-city types who looks like he may have dabbled with Meth.
Whereas I smoked the odd joint.
And I was certainly never as manicured as 'Lady Marmalade'.
Not least because I was a goth.
Well, not a true one.
More of a wannabe goth.
I didn't have piercings or tattoos.
For which I am eternally grateful.
But I wore a lot of purple and sported a spiky hairdo.
Being a goth was different back then.
The point is I wasted my opportunity because I was having such a good time.
I drank a lot.
The college bar was heavily subsidised.
I drank A LOT.
And when the student grant was stretched to capacity, there was always the 2 litre bottle of Tesco's own-brand cider, guaranteed to get any evening off to a flying start.
Especially when mixed with lager.
And when finances got even tighter, I got a job in a bar.
Free booze and a weekly wage!
I skipped lectures and tutorials.
I woke up with half-eaten kebabs in my bed.
I woke up on the bonnet of a car I took a drunken liking to.
I woke up in a bus shelter.
I woke the owner of the local Chinese takeaway at 2am to ask him, in a totally incomprehensible slur, if he could sell me some chips.
He stood in his dressing gown at his front door and told me what he thought of me.
Of course, he was speaking Mandarin, but I think the concept of 'in no uncertain terms' transcends all language barriers.
When I dropped out of study after my second year, I got a job in Top Shop.
It was only because of my determination to succeed, having screwed up my education, that I was able to forge a career for myself.
I liken my Top Shop year to national service - it taught me the fundamentals of management and from there I moved into a long and successful career in advertising.
Getting to where I am today has been a complicated and at times painful journey, via marriage, miscarriage, divorce, a nervous breakdown and redundancy.
But that journey has afforded me this second chance.
Which is why I am determined not to blow it this time.
I haven't even set foot in the student bar!
I'm not sure I could trust myself.
©Alacoque Doyle
Crikey! At this rate you might end up taking up residence in a convent.
ReplyDeleteKeeping out of the student bar is definitely a good idea though. My second college outing (albeit only for a year to study journalism in Harlow) was an almost hermit-like experience. I really was s**t scared of going off the rails again. One of the good things they did (probably as a way to get you used to the idea of newspaper deadlines) was to say every assignment had to be submitted by a given date - no such thing as an extension - give it in late and it was marked as zero, no arguments.
Mind you, I reckon I missed the boat as far as journalism goes, opportunites to advance are very limited these days. I have had the good fortune to talk to people who worked in it during its 'golden age' and it really was a hoot. In fact, it sounds rather like being a debaucherous student - except getting paid for it. Mind you, you still had to stick to those deadlines.