Bready Protest

UCD has a very large campus.
I believe the student population is around 17,000.
Each faculty has its own building and within it, its own café.
All my classes take place in the Newman Building which is effectively the Arts building.
Except for trips to the adjacent library, conveniently linked and sheltered from the elements by a skyway, I have no reason to leave its bosom.
Therefore, I haven't.
Sorry, I tell a lie.
During 'Orientation Week', I joined the gym.
It's on the far side of the campus to the Newman Building.
Apart from that initial visit, I have yet to grace it with my presence.

The 'Arts Café' has more in common with the 'Art' of its title than you might initially think.
Certainly all the prices have been marked up considerably.
A huge commission has clearly been factored into the sale of its 'works'.
No student subsidies on display here.
However, their 'soup and a roll' package, as I have mentioned before, is good value at €2.99.
They also have a 'soup combo' deal at €4.99, where the roll is substituted for one from a range of half-decent sandwiches.
I am a creature of habit and I swiftly adopt the lunchtime regime of an 'Irish Cheddar and Chutney' sandwich accompanied by 'Thick Country Vegetable' soup.
The sandwich, purchased on its own, is priced at €4.05.
Therefore, a bowl of hot and hearty soup for an additional 94 cent represents excellent value in my book.

Today I uncharacteristically decide to break from routine.
The Chicken Caesar Bagel beckons irresistibly.
I pick it up and place it on my tray, then I go and collect my soup.
I am metaphorically licking my lips as I approach the till.
'€7.98 please,' says the young girl operating it.
'I'm sorry?' I reply.
'The bagels aren't included in the deal,' she sullenly informs me.
She is chewing gum, open-mouthed, and has the kind of expression on her face that says 'I'd rather be anywhere else but here'.
I get the fact that certain things may not be included in the deal.
I honestly do.
It's the way of the world.
But the bagel on its own is priced at €4.99.
That's 94 cent more expensive than my regular cheese and chutney fare.
What I don't get is why I am being charged €7.98 instead of €5.93.
I have said before my Math is not strong, but even without the assistance of an Excel spreadsheet, I can make that calculation.
'Why isn't the price €5.93?' I ask.
Her eyebrows furrow and there is a touch of pain in her confused countenance.
'The bagel isn't included in the deal,' she reiterates.
She has been well-trained.
'I normally get the Cheddar and Chutney sandwich, which is €4.05,' I tell her. 'Logic would imply the soup has a value of 94 cent. Therefore,' I continue, 'the €4.99 bagel plus a soup should cost €5.93.'
She stops mid chew and looks at me, slack jawed.
There is a glimmer of fear behind the vacancy in her eyes.
I am too hungry to argue the point any further and there is a long queue forming rapidly behind me.
Added to which missy looks like she's about to call security.
'Well, can I at least take a roll as well?' I ask indignantly.
'Yeah,' she says, and resumes chewing.
I grab a roll and dump it belligerently on the tray next to the bagel that has suddenly lost some of its earlier appeal.
I am making a point.
Missy ignores it.
I pay up and shuffle off to find a seat in the overcrowded room.
 
I have no intention of eating the roll now of course.
But it's the principle that matters.
I wrap the roll in a paper napkin, pop it into my voluminous handbag and resolve to eat it later.

I consume my lunch through gritted teeth and note the Caesar dressing has a certain bitterness I hadn't anticipated.

©Alacoque Doyle