Dog-gone Blues

I have commented on my childlessness.
But I omitted to mention I have a dog.
I got Lulu, a beautiful Lakeland Terrier, a year after my miscarriage while I was having my small, but not insignificant, nervous breakdown.
She was only 12 weeks old when I became her owner and she filled a huge void in my life at that particular period.

I wasn't working at the time of acquiring her and was therefore home all day.
Needless to say, a very close bond developed between us and I lapped up her unconditional love.
And I gave her plenty in return.
But my life has changed so much in the last 12 months.
And all for the better.
I am in a loving, nurturing, mutually respectful relationship.
Its transatlantic nature can be problematic.
But I'm in it for the long haul.
He's Jewish and therefore circumcised.
It's only a small drawback.
But in my book, that's a bonus!

My extended trips to the US have seen my parents willingly dog-sitting for me.
But my enrollment at UCD is a more complex matter.
I have been leaving Lulu alone too long.
I know she's bored and tormented while I'm away.
I can tell because she's been chewing the corners of my kitchen cabinets.
The rungs on the dining room chairs.
The occasional misplaced shoe.
And anything else she can get her paws on.

On Wednesdays and Thursdays I am out of the house for 12 hours so I have an arrangement to leave her with my parents on those days.
Naturally, they have become quite attached to her.
But she's only 2 years old and she is a bundle of springy, playful, tireless energy.
And my parents are recent octogenarians.
So after many weeks of tormented deliberation, I have decided to do what is in Lulu's best interest.
I am gifting her to my dog-loving cousin who lives by the beach in beautiful West Cork, and has a dog already.
She and her husband have been looking for a second canine companion for a while and I had mooted the notion of adoption with them back in the summer while on a visit to their home.
I hadn't started the academic year yet, so was unsure quite how things would pan out.
But it had been on my mind.
I selected them on many positive criteria
I know she will be going to a wonderful home.
And despite being upset about losing her, I can take great consolation in the knowledge she'll have a much better quality of life than I have been affording her recently. 

Unfortunately, the timing of her departure could not be worse.
My cousin is travelling up to Kildare this weekend and has arranged to collect Lulu.
But my sister is also heading back home today.
After tearful 'goodbyes' with my parents, I drive my sister and her daughter to the airport, leaving the pooch with my mum and dad.
I return a couple of hours later to collect Lulu and find my parents red-eyed and snotty-nosed.
The tears that flow at the doggie departure far outweigh those spilled for their own flesh and blood.
It's quite bizarre.
My mother is distraught.
'I feel like I'm abandoning her,' she sobs uncontrollably.
I find myself consoling her and thinking, 'shouldn't it be the other way round?'

I feel like such a bitch.

©Alacoque Doyle